I was at the bar in the Texas Rose last night waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big old heifer came up behind me, and slapped me on the ass.

She said, “Hey, sexy, how about giving me your number?”

I looked at her and said, ”Have you got a pen.”

She said, “I sure do."

I said, “Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you’re missing.”

My dental surgery is on Monday.