75% high fructose corn syrup, some cornstarch and Red Dye #40 wasn't a real high bar to begin with, but now frozen cherry pies are gonna be like those little "pocket" pies that are sold by the checkstands. The only requirement for those is that the word "cherry" appears on the packaging. Finding a cherry in one of those mini pies is the equivalent of finding a fragment of chicken in your bowl of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. Do you feel lucky!

You should probably run to the store right now, and purchase as many old school Marie Callender's Cherry Crunch Pies as your freezer will hold.